Many wish they could be an Austen heroine. You are an invariably intelligent, prettyish creature who always gets your man. One circumstance, however, must excite sympathy rather than envy: the unwanted proposal. Apart from Elinor (and Marianne), all of Austen's heroines are submitted to offers of advantageous homes and incomes, and their less attractive owners.
Though unmarried women did not have much power during this period, they were able to reject offers of marriage. Of course, they couldn't initiate the relationship, but they could drop hints, be as open, lovely and accomplished as possible. According to Lady Bertram 'it is every young
woman’s duty to accept such a very unexceptionable offer' that comes her way. Austen's heroines constantly disregard such a duty, instead opting to strike their own path.
Elizabeth Bennet and Anne Elliot receive three proposals in their lives; two of those from the man they eventually marry. Anne nearly receives four proposals, and everyone believes her to be almost engaged to Mr Elliot, though he does not get to ask her. Elizabeth's proposals from Mr Collins and Mr Darcy are great examples of self-deluded decision-making. Lizzy rightfully believes that Collins' feelings for her are 'imaginary,'** while Darcy's are misguided: his love is real, but he know very little about Elizabeth's true feelings for him.
We are not privy to Anne's first two proposals, but we can imagine that they were very different from each other. One can imagine Wentworth's passionate declaration, expressed with all the eagerness of youth. Charles' was likely to be more practical, offered with a streak of good-humour. It must be acknowledged that Wentworth's proposal was not unwanted by Anne, but was by her family and Lady Russell.
Emma Woodhouse, Fanny Price and Catherine Morland are proposed to twice (the second is by the man they marry). Emma is cornered by a gallant Mr Elton in a carriage, and his proposal is similar to Mr Collins and Darcy; his love is based on an imaginary construction of he thinks Miss Woodhouse is. Her money is also a significant factor. Poor Catherine is subjected to one of the worst proposals in all of Austen; she doesn't understand Mr Thorpe's cryptic allusions to 'this marrying scheme,'* and therefore finds herself agreeing to a hidden contract. Either he cannot be bothered to ask her outright, or he is a coward of the highest order.
Fanny is pursued by Henry Crawford, who fails to pay Fanny the compliment of believing her to know her own mind. He is misguided in thinking that he is what will constitute Fanny's happiness. It is important to note that, while Austen does say that Fanny would have married Henry if Edmund had married Mary, it does not say that she would have been happy.
The heroines are all correct in their refusals, even Elizabeth and Anne. All marry men who love them for who they are, who believe their beloved to be 'faultless in spite of all her faults.'*** Their marriages are based on a significant knowledge of the other's thoughts and ideas, making their unions the ultimate expression of companionship and intimacy. The men who treat marriage as a product to be sold to the heroine, like sneaky Mr Thorpe, persistent Mr Crawford or rude shop assistant Darcy are rejected (and rightly so).
What is your favourite proposal (romantic or otherwise)?
*NA, ch 15
** P&P, ch 20
*** Emma, ch 49
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